


Christmas Nerves

by KaterineBlack



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Apart from the Epilogue, Canon Compliant, Christmas, Family Dinners, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Healer Draco Malfoy, Kinda, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post Hogwarts, Unspeakable Harry Potter, spacing out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:02:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21834127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaterineBlack/pseuds/KaterineBlack
Summary: It’s Harry and Draco’s first Christmas together. Harry is called into work on Christmas Eve leaving Draco to his nerves for their visits to their families over the holiday.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 10
Kudos: 59
Collections: HP Holiday Mini Fest 2019





	Christmas Nerves

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt:** First Christmas as a couple and nerves cause an argument and 
> 
> Thanks to kf & CT for Betaing this

He was pacing up and down in the living room of his house. Draco had been fine that morning; if slightly mad Harry was working that day when he had been meant to have the day off. He had been looking forward to spending the day with him relaxing before the packed schedule they had over the next few days. It didn’t help that they had barely seen each other over the week before. With Harry working long days and his run of night shifts, they only had about five minutes where they were home at the same time and awake.

Sometime later as the morning led towards lunch, he had started second-guessing the gifts he had bought for the various members of the Weasley family, as well as some of the likely guests. Draco knew there was history between his own family and the adoptive family of his boyfriend, as well as more recent incidents between himself and some of the family personally. He was worried about how they would react to him being there as Harry’s partner. He was also anxious about how his parents would treat Harry while they were visiting them. They had been cold towards Harry the few times they had seen them, and he was concerned that the longer visit would cause the underlying problems to come out which would lead to an argument. As with himself and the Weasley family, there were personal grudges between Harry and his parents, mostly his father, stemming back all the way to their second year. Though he did not know how his mother's actions at the end of the war and Harry’s testifying at their trails would affect the reactions to each other during their visit.

Draco had worked himself up into a bundle of nerves over the afternoon, and as the day wore on he had gone from irritated at Harry for working on his day off, to mad that he hadn’t been there to keep him from working himself into the panicked frenzy he was now in. He turned towards the small hallway as he heard the door open.

“Hi, Love. I’m back. I’m sorry that it took so long for me to finish, but there could have been dangerous consequences if I didn't..” Harry had walked into the living room as he was speaking but stopped abruptly when he saw Draco’s expression. “Love, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong, he asks! When we were meant to spend the day together relaxing and enjoying our day to ourselves before the visits we have planned for the next two days.” Draco went back to pacing across the room.

“You know what I do, Love, and you know that I can't always control when I’m needed,” Harry said soothingly. His tone was calm and caring which only made Draco angrier.

“Well, you seem to want to spend more time at the ministry than with me. It’s not just working today— on your day off I might add— you seem to be constantly working from early in the morning to late into the evening. I can barely manage to get you to stop working so we can go on a date occasionally. I had been starting to think that you weren’t interested in me anymore.”

“ _I’m_ not interested anymore? I’m not the one who, having just come off of a set of night shifts, chose to _volunteer_ to take an extra set right after Christmas. You knew when we started dating that my job took a lot of my time!” Draco saw Harry’s back stiffen as he talked.

“At least when we were first dating you would spend time with me,” Draco sneered. “You knew that night shifts were part of my job, _you_ are not the only one with a demanding career! And why do you even care that I took some extra night shifts, you are barely here for it to matter!”

He pushed his way past Harry, wandered out into their back garden and then changed into his Animagus form. He had been surprised when his form turned out to be a snow-white ferret, and he wondered at the time whether Moody’s spell had caused his form to fix as the rodent. After some research, he realised that probably hadn’t been the case. He climbed one of the snow-covered trees in their garden, curled up, and was camouflaged in the snow. He had been worried that he would say something truly hurtful to Harry and for all he was mad, he didn’t want to hurt him.

A couple of minutes later he heard the backdoor open again. He watched Harry make his way to the tree he was hidden in and then settle on the ground beneath him.

“You know I love you, and I do love you more than I love my job. I’m sorry that I’ve been so distant with you this last week. There has been this big project happening and it’s been all hands on deck, everyone has been called in for as many hours as they can possibly do. And I know it’s not an excuse, but every time I would try to leave early to come and see you before you left for a shift, I would be pulled away into some complex bit of the project that ‘absolutely needed my help right that minute’. Even though I just missed you, and I had been looking forward to spending the day just you and me.”

Draco quietly crept down the tree and climbed onto Harry's lap, who didn't even seem to notice, he just continued to talk. “And I know that nights are an important part of your job, that your hours can be just as unpredictable as mine or even more so sometimes, but it hurt when you volunteered to take another set of nights right after Christmas, especially as you only finished a set a few days ago. I know I wasn't meant to be working today, I don't know why they think this project needs me so badly and if I had known you were so nervous about the next few days I would have told them: ‘No I'm meant to have the day off, I've been working sixteen-hour days for the last week and a half, and I'm needed at home. I really don't want to lose you, I love you Dra- umph” he cut off Harry's rambling by changing out if his Animagus and kissing him.

“I love you too, you idiot. I’ve just spent the day stressing about all the things that could possibly go wrong at my parents and at the Weasleys. All I could think about was that I wanted you here. I’m sorry I hurt you by taking the extra run of nights, I hadn't thought about how it would affect you. I only took it as it gives me the opportunity to be running the emergency room for the night, I’ve not done that without supervision before and as soon as I was offered the chance, I took it without thinking.”

“Love, that’s brilliant!” he beamed at Draco, “I wish you had said how important an opportunity it was. I’m impressed! You said it usually takes much longer before you are allowed to run an emergency room. Once I’m back at the department I think I should go and tell my boss that I can't be working all these extra hours. I hate not seeing you for days, and if I am persuasive enough I might be able to get more flexible hours, so I can see you more.”

Draco was pulled into Harry's chest, and he pressed his face into the dip of his neck.

“I think you do work far too much for them, and honestly they shouldn’t be relying on you so much. I was managing to stress myself out too easily. Logically, I know it should all go well and there isn’t really anything I can do now to change what happens, but I feel like I can face anything _with you_.” The confidence he could see on Harry’s face settled his own nerves.

“Come on, let’s head back inside. We have a long day tomorrow.” Harry stood up bringing him up with him. The pair went back inside their house and enjoyed a quiet evening together.

The next morning the pair were up early getting ready to Floo to Malfoy Manor, and spend Christmas morning with Draco’s parents. He was worried by how unworried Harry seemed. Once they had gathered the gifts they were taking with them, both for his parents and for the Weasleys, they quickly went through the Floo and arrived in the reception parlour of the manor. They were met by a house-elf and directed to the family dining room. At one end of the dining table there was a small pile of parcels, as they passed Harry and Draco added their presents for the elder Malfoy’s to the pile. He joined his mother at the table and Harry sat opposite him.

“Good morning mother, I hope you had a good Yule celebration. Is father well?”

“Good morning my Dragon, our Yule was promising. Your father is well he had just gone out to check on the Abraxans when you arrived, he should be coming back to the house in a few minutes.” she turned towards Harry, “I hope you are well, Mr Potter.”

“I’m— well, a little tired— but glad to have some time off work. And please, call me Harry, I hope I will be in your son’s life for as long as he will let me be and I don’t want our relationship to be strained between us.”

“Well then Harry, feel free to call me Narcissa. I don’t think I ever thanked you for saving Draco’s life, and for speaking for us at the trials. I don’t know what would have happened to us if you hadn’t.”

“Mrs Mal-” she gave him a look, “Narcissa, you don’t need to thank me. You and Draco had both already saved my life by the time I pulled him from the fire and while your husband might have been a willing follower of Riddle at first, by the end you all were prisoners here, and he had not caused anywhere near the amount of death or destruction than any of the other Death Eaters, so I never thought he deserved to be sent to Azkaban.”

“That’s very kind of you to say. There are not many who think the same way as you. I do hope, however, you are not seeing my son out of anything at all related to pity. If that be the case, then you should leave now, it would not be fair on you nor him if you are not honest about how you feel for him.”

“I know it seems quick, but I do love your son. I don’t think I would have made it through that last year at Hogwarts, after the war, without him being there.” Harry looked away from Narcissa, gazing at Draco fondly, “you kept me sane through that year. Through the adoration, the hostility, and all the chaos that happened, in what I had honestly hoped would be a quiet year, you were there for me. I don't know why none of my previous years at the castle had been quiet, but when I felt like the people I had relied on for so many years were pulling away from me when I still needed them, you stood by me. You were this steady presence through so much, and I kinda wish we had stopped fighting sooner.”

“I wonder all the time what might have happened if I had accepted your hand all the way back on the train in first year.” Harry continued. “But I also don’t regret not taking it, as I don't know if we would have what we have now.” Harry turned back to his mother, “I don’t pity your son, Narcissa. I love him despite and maybe even because of all that has happened between us. And, Mr Malfoy,” Harry turned towards the doorway his father now occupied, “I don’t hold any of your actions against Draco either, he’s his own person and while I do believe that family is important, I don't think that the mistakes or crimes of one person should be held against their loved ones.”

“Mr Potter, welcome to our home, I hope you are well.”

“I am well, Sir. I hope you are well and had a good Yule. I also hope your Abraxans are well.”

“Our Yule was successful, and I’m well. One of the Abraxans, sadly, is unwell. A mare is due to foal soon but the pregnancy does not seem to be advancing successfully I’m worried that we will lose both when the birth comes.” his father turned towards his mother, “I’m going to call Marks at the Creature Hospital when it opens on Monday it’s not something to bother him with over Christmas.” he sat down at the table next to his mother. “Draco, I hope you are well.”

“I’m also a little tired, while I do enjoy working on night shifts they are more tiring than an equivalent day shift. Once I’ve finished the next run of nights I think I need to take some time off before I push myself too hard. Shall we eat, or should we start with exchanging gifts?” Draco felt nervous about what gifts Harry had bought for his parents, almost as nervous as he was about his own gifts for later in the day.

“Food first, darling,” his mother told him, and then signalled to their house elf for the food. It was a fairly simple breakfast, and they all finished in little time. Once they had all finished he stood and brought the pile of gifts along the table. He passed his gifts to his parents. He had found a necklace he was sure his mother would love, and a rare book on breeding the various magical horse breeds for his father. He picked up the parcel for Harry and passed it to him before opening his own. As he unwrapped it he was overwhelmed by what his parents had given him, while he had his trust vault he had not expected to be given a key to the main family vault until he was married at the earliest.

“We want you to take over running the investments using the family vault, Draco. All the suggestions you have made so far have been more successful than we ever expected, and we feel that you will be able to keep this going even with your commitments. We are proud of how well you have been managing to balance your training and your commitment to our family.”

He looked over to Harry and saw him turning a Dark green wand holster over and over in his hands. “This is basilisk hide isn’t it, It’s been almost eight years but I don’t think I could ever forget what it looked like. Thank you so much for this.” he pulled up his sleeve along his right arm and carefully fastened the holster to his forearm. He pulled his wand out of the holder he kept on his belt and slid it into the new holster before flexing his arm and wrist. “This is brilliant and so useful. But please, open your gifts, this shouldn’t just be about me and Draco.”

He watched his parents first open his gifts and put them to one side and then all that was left on the table were the two parcels from Harry. His mother was the first to open her present but she had barely opened the box before she started sobbing.

“How did you find these? They had been meant to be part of my dowry but they couldn’t be found before our wedding, I had always hoped that I might have been able to search for them if Draco inherited the Black Vaults, but when they passed to someone else I assumed I would never see them again.” Narcissa carefully pulled a delicate silver Narcissus flower on a very fine chain out of its velvet case and fastened it around her neck, leaving the rest of the set in its box for the moment.

“I was the one to inherit the majority of the Black Vaults. Sirius had ritually adopted me, which meant I was the next in the main line. One of the smaller vaults has actually passed to my godson through his mother. When I was trying to figure out what to give you I started to sort through the main family vaults, the set wasn’t labelled as yours or as being meant for you at all, which is quite possibly how it failed to become part of your dowry. When I saw what was in the box, I immediately thought of you, and I felt that they should be in the hands of someone who truly cared about them. Honestly, there are enough other pieces of jewellery in the Black Vaults and the Potter Vaults that I would not miss one set, especially one that looked personalised if I ever had a daughter.” he paused, “Mr Malfoy, I should possibly warn you that your gift is not entirely from myself, and in some ways is similar to your own gift to Draco. If you want, I can explain how I can give you what I am now or at another time if it would suit you better. I feel I should say it did not take as much work as I expected it to, and it is on record that I am giving this to you today.”

His father gave Harry a sharp look and unwrapped the box that was in front of him. He removed the lid and picked up the parent scroll that was inside. Draco was sure he had only read the first few words on the parchment before he dropped it and stared at Harry in a very unMalfoy-like way. His mother reached over and took the scroll but she didn't seem to get any further than his father had before she also dropped the parchment. He decided he needed to see what was written in the scroll which was so shocking it could cause both his parents to lose their composure and why it was something his, sometimes idiotic, partner thought would be appropriate as a Christmas gift.

Unrolling the parchment he saw what caused his parents so much shock. The first line on the scroll said, in larger writing than he might have expected, 'Writ of Pardon for one Lucius Abraxus Malfoy'. He almost dropped the scroll himself but he kept reading. Draco saw it was an official ministry document releasing his father from the conditions placed upon him concerning the terms of his house arrest. From the first minute of the new year his father would be a free man. Lucius could then leave the manor and it's grounds, but more importantly, his wand would be returned without any restrictions on it. Though there was a warning at the end of the document that due to his history he would be judged harshly if caught breaking the law again.

After the shock of Harry's gift, the four wixen moved into the family sitting room and spent the remainder of the morning quietly talking, though his father said little. Eventually, it was time to floo to the Burrow. As they stood to leave his mother pulled Harry into a hug before giving Draco one.

As they walked through the manor to the floo parlour he turned to Harry, "even if you don't give an explanation for your gift to my father, I would like to know how you secured the pardon and why you were allowed to be the one to give it to him."

"Of course, Love, but would you be willing to wait for the explanation until we return home tomorrow evening, the Weasleys don't know he is being pardoned yet and I don't want to cause an argument over Christmas."

"I can wait, though I am going to be dying of curiosity the entire time." They entered the green flames and stepped out into the busyness that was the Weasleys kitchen. It was even more crowded than it normally was due to the large amount of food that was being prepared.

"You're here, everyone is in the living room." Mrs Wealsy greeted them with warm, strong hugs. She then hurried them into the next room where they were greeted by a chorus of hellos as the various groups of people in the room noticed their arrival. They were the last to arrive and not long after they had sat down beside George, the entire group was called into the kitchen for the large Christmas dinner that Mrs Weasley had prepared. He found himself sat between George and Bill with Harry opposite him. He was glad to be sat with the quieter of the Weasley siblings, and those who he had less history with. He tried to keep his contributions to the conversation fairly simple and respectful as much for his own nerves as any worry about causing a fight. If he was honest with himself, which he tried to be, it was mostly out of nerves. He found the meal overly rowdy, with everyone grabbing food off various plates and serving dishes being passed up and down the table, he found it very different to the meal they had with his parents earlier that day.

Once everyone was finished the group moved back into the sitting-room he ended up back on the sofa they had sat on earlier, with Harry sat on a cushion at his feet. Once everyone was sat down he watched Victoire carefully make her way to the pile of presents under a tree in the corner of the room and start to pass them out. After she had returned to her parents Harry passed out their gifts. He watched the reactions to his gifts hoping that there weren’t any bad reactions.

The younger Weasley siblings had been easier for him to buy presents for as he had spent more time in semi-close proximity while they were in Hogwarts. Ron received a book of unusual chess starters, Hermione— who he had found harder to shop for— received a book on the history of wizarding interactions with other races. He had bought George a rare book of Japanese practical jokes— which had only had a few copies printed in English— and he had found a professional level broom care kit for Ginny. He had been particularly lucky while searching for gifts for Bill and Charlie as he had stumbled upon a selection of protective accessories including a leather cuff imbued with fire protection wards which would even work against dragon flame and a second cuff which protected again most low-level curses that a curse breaker was likely to run into.

Draco had even braved the Muggle world to find a book that explained electricity in the simplest of terms for Mr Weasley and at the same time had bought a cookbook of various curries and other Indian dishes for his wife. He had bought a copy of a novel by his favourite French author for Fleur, as well as a book of French fairy tales for Victoire. Percy had received a collection of essays written by former ministers about their journey to gaining the office. Lee and Audrey had received slightly less personalised gifts but were both pleased by the selection of sweets he had chosen for them.

As each person unwrapped their gifts there were shouts, and people jumping up to hug him. He started to get overwhelmed by all the redheads crowding him. He barely noticed when Harry stood up in front of him causing the group of exuberant thankers to step back. Harry led him up to the room they were sharing for the night and got him settled in bed.

“You just settle down here, Love, I’m just going to go downstairs, say goodnight and then I’ll be right back.” He was barely aware that harry left the room before he had fallen asleep, exhausted from the stress of the busy day.

The next morning he was awake earlier than he had expected. He woke Harry and once they were ready the pair went down to the kitchen. They quietly made themselves some tea and toast, and just sat in the kitchen enjoying spending the calm early morning together.

The quiet was interrupted by Mrs Weasley who was up to make breakfast for everyone before most returned to their own homes. Harry immediately stood and offered to help her with the cooking. He watched the pair work together almost seamlessly in the kitchen dancing around each other in the space to make enough food to feed all fourteen people. He enjoyed watching his partner move about the room and cook with skill and confidence, though it made him sad to think of how and why Harry knew how to do these things.

Draco found it fascinating; the difference between Mrs Weasley’s mostly magical style of cooking and Harry’s use of many more muggle methods. He wondered whether his partner would have opened a restaurant or a bakery if he had not been recruited by the Unspeakables right after they took their NEWTs.

Eventually, the rest of the extended Weasley clan came down into the kitchen, probably drawn down by the smell of the cooking breakfast. The morning meal was much quieter than the evening before, as most were tired from the previous few days. After the meal was finished, he and Harry saying slow goodbyes to all the Weasleys before Flooing back to Malfoy Manor.

When they stepped out of the floo they were directed to one of the smaller family sitting rooms where they met his parents, once again. Shortly after they settled in the living room his father asked Harry if they could talk in his study.

Once they had left, Draco’s mother tried to get him to focus on their conversation but when they didn't return after a quarter of an hour he started to pace across the room.

"Draco," his mother called to him after he had passed in front of her for the tenth time, "if you are so nervous that you cannot focus on anything else why don't you change into your Animagus and go to sleep in my lap until they return. I am sure your father will not do anything to hurt Harry, especially after his gift yesterday. He is most likely just doing his duty as your father and affirming Harry's intentions towards you."

He took his mother's advice and turned and let the soothing motion of her hand running through his fur settle his nerves. He listened as she told him about the plans she and his father had made for the coming year, knowing that they could travel more freely. She also told him of their plans to give back to the wizarding world by donating to various causes that they felt needed it, including St Mungos and the orphanage that Harry had helped found. She also told Draco how she hoped to be able to volunteer at the orphanage, though she didn't want to be seen as trying to buy the family's reputation back. Draco’s father was going to offer to run an equestrian course at Hogwarts as an extracurricular, as well as offer to be a guest lecturer in the care of magical creatures class on the differences between the various Magical and Muggle horse and horse adjacent breeds, how to care for them and train them.

Eventually, the door opened and the pair returned to the room. They walked in and Draco could hear them talking about the difference between two words when said in parseltongue and how some words didn't have a direct translation, touching on how this could affect casting spells using parseltongue. He was surprised, he knew it took a lot of effort to get his father interested in Magical Theory. It wasn't that he didn't know about many obscure parts of it, he was just more interested in other things and didn't often talk about it.

He stretched on his mother's lap and then carefully jumped down onto the carpet before changing back into his human form. He rushed over to harry, pulled him into a hug and wouldn't let go, even as they sat down again. He barely noticed as the conversation continued on around him. He slowly relaxed and began to fall asleep on Harry's shoulder, he felt so exhausted after the anxiety and tension that had plagued him since well before they left their house the day before.

He felt harry gently shake his shoulder bringing him out of his dozing. They arranged for his parents to visit them in the next few weeks so they could finally see their house, as neither had been allowed to visit when they moved in. Once they had finished with the goodbyes they returned to the Floo parlour and went through the fireplace to their home. Harry helped him get settled in bed for the second night in a row but he felt much more settled in himself and their relationship, as he drifted off to sleep, than he had even a day before.

**Author's Note:**

> This fanwork is part of the [HP Holiday Mini Fest](https://mini-fest.livejournal.com/), an on-going anonymous fest. The creator will be revealed at the end of the fest. Please show your appreciation for the creator by leaving a comment below. Thank you!


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